Category Archive
Random Thoughts
Jokes, quotes, silly signs, questionable song titles, birthdays, and this-day-in-history trivia from the back pages of the Trader.
Random Thoughts
Saving Our Human Race
by BartowTrader · Apr 1, 2020
Let’s see if I got this right? To save our human race all we have to do is stay home, watch TV, nap and eat pizza – let’s don’t mess this up!
Random Thoughts
Home Teaching
by BartowTrader · Apr 1, 2020
You heard about the home school teacher getting fired for drinking on the job. This came after expelling two of her students from school. Son: “Dad, the lunch lady used a lot of bad words today.” Dad: “Son, go easy on your mom, she’s under a…”
Random Thoughts
Christmas Quotes
by BartowTrader · Dec 2, 2019
• Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks. ~ Anonymous • Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. ~ Phyllis Diller…
Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts
by BartowTrader · Jan 11, 2019
A grab-bag of one-liners, observations, and questionable wisdom from the back page of the Trader.
Random Thoughts
Silly Signs
by admin · Nov 3, 2018
A collection of real-world signs that didn’t quite say what their writers meant — sent in by readers across Bartow County.
Random Thoughts
Questionable Song Titles
by admin · Aug 3, 2018
“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly” by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn • “We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful” by Steven Morrissey • “Thank God And Greyhound (She’s Gone)” by Roy Clark…
Random Thoughts
August In…
by admin · Aug 3, 2018
1492 – Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, with three ships, Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria seeking a westerly route to the Far East. 1790 – The first U.S. census was completed with a total population of 3,929,214…
Random Thoughts
August Jokes
by admin · Aug 3, 2018
A mature lady walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. “You’ve got to be kidding,” she said. “I’m almost 60 years old.” The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license…
Random Thoughts
August Birthdays
by admin · Aug 3, 2018
President Barack Obama 8/4/61 • President Bill Clinton 8/19/46 • Warren Buffett 8/30/30 • Steve Martin 8/14/45 • Van Morrison 8/31/45 • Tony Bennett 8/3/26 • Regis Philbin 8/25/31 • Al Roker 8/20/54…
Random Thoughts
July Silly Sign
by admin · Jul 14, 2018
This month’s silly sign — spotted by a reader and shared with the Trader.
Random Thoughts
July Random Thoughts
by admin · Jul 14, 2018
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. What if there were no hypothetical questions? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?…
Random Thoughts
July In…
by admin · Jul 14, 2018
Today in… 1776 United States Declaration of Independence Signed. 1889 The Wall Street Journal is first published. 1923 Insulin Introduced. 1935 The first parking meter in the U.S., the Park-O-Meter invented by Carlton Magee, was installed in Oklahoma City…
Random Thoughts
July Jokes and Quotes
by admin · Jul 14, 2018
A boy answers the phone. The caller asks, “Where’s your parents?” “They ain’t here!” “Where’s your grammar?” “My grammer ain’t here neither, she’s gone to church!”…
Random Thoughts
July’s Birthdays
by admin · Jul 14, 2018
A round-up of notable July birthdays — musicians, presidents, athletes, and folks closer to home.